we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
