I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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