And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
