so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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