he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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