I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
