I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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