you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
