I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
