I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
