I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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