your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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