Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize