White coat. Heels.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
