I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize