So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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