so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
