I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Randomize
