I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
