True but thats because hes a fetus.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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