we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
