hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
