One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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