no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Congratulations! We have a period
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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