They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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