guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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