pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
