he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize