Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
