I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My bed smells like the plague
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
