Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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