he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
