so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
