im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
