i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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