champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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