I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
