So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
