Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
