Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
