That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
