She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
