I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
