I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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