i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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