...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
