Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
