so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
