The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize