i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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