I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
