he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
