I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
