you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she looked like the before picture.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
