before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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