Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
