dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
